The Power of A Listening Ear
How often do we listen to our friends? To our family? To Strangers?
The first step to a great friendship is listening. When we listen to someone we let go of our thoughts, we let go of ourselves, and we listen to them. A wise friend of mine once said, "Listen for the sake of knowledge. Listen for the sake of understanding. Listen for the sake of listening." Sometimes all we can do for a person is listen to them, to let them vent about something. And that's not always bad. In fact, embrace that. Listen to the person, and you will gain a better understanding of the person, which leads us to step two.
Step two to a great friendship is understanding the other persons story. And how can we do that while we're talking about ourselves so much? Often we find ourselves listening to reply, but that's not the right way to go about it. We need to listen to understand.
Take a minute to look at your life, just take a step back and look at it from a distance. How great are your relationships with your friends? Family? How often do you find yourself listening to respond? You may not admit it but it happens quite often. We don't listen to our friends to understand, and that is a large flaw in humanity. We all want to be recognized and loved, right? So why don't we listen to the person first?
A big lesson I've learned from my leadership classes I've taken is that we need to forget ourselves and just listen. Forget your thoughts, forget your situation, and listen to them with real intent of understanding. When we forget ourselves we begin to place ourselves into their shoes, and that can make the biggest differences in both your life and theirs. When we forget ourselves we begin to see their side of things. We begin to understand a new side of life.
Another significant lesson I've learned is that when we listen to the friend they often will return curiosity, and will be more willing to listen to you. After I let them talk out their feelings most times I notice they have a genuine interest in my life. [This is not always the case, but I have found it true in my experiences.]
Now for step three, once you've listened to them ask questions. Let them talk about themselves a bit, and really try to pay attention, and if you're one to give advice then do just that. Ask a few questions, and really try to pay attention to their answers.
I know that through my experiences I've loved when my friends just listen to me, and when I'm done with my rant they ask questions! They ask questions about how they can help me, or why this event made me feel this way. And it truly made me feel special, it made me believe they truly did want to hear me, and they have a desire to understand me. I really do love people like this.
Through those three steps I've found that I've grown a lot closer to my friends by doing just this. It really does work if you let it.
But there's a difference between letting someone talk about their trials in their life and throwing a pity party for themselves. You don't need to allow someone to throw a pity party for themselves. Listen to them, but don't feed into it. A pity party is when someone just talks about how awful their life may be, and they don't try to do anything about it, to fix it at all. They may just want you to feel bad for them. Don't listen to that.
When someone is truly distraught they will talk about their issue, and they [hopefully] will accept advice and try to improve their life. Those are the talks that are healthy. Don't allow yourself to be dragged down by the pity party, you can listen to them, but don't feed into it.
My challenge to you is to really try to do this with your friends. Pick the top three relationships in your life right now, and use practice this with them. Because not only will you see a difference in them, but you'll also see a difference in yourself.
Love you guys! Thanks for reading! You guys are the best!
The first step to a great friendship is listening. When we listen to someone we let go of our thoughts, we let go of ourselves, and we listen to them. A wise friend of mine once said, "Listen for the sake of knowledge. Listen for the sake of understanding. Listen for the sake of listening." Sometimes all we can do for a person is listen to them, to let them vent about something. And that's not always bad. In fact, embrace that. Listen to the person, and you will gain a better understanding of the person, which leads us to step two.
Step two to a great friendship is understanding the other persons story. And how can we do that while we're talking about ourselves so much? Often we find ourselves listening to reply, but that's not the right way to go about it. We need to listen to understand.
Take a minute to look at your life, just take a step back and look at it from a distance. How great are your relationships with your friends? Family? How often do you find yourself listening to respond? You may not admit it but it happens quite often. We don't listen to our friends to understand, and that is a large flaw in humanity. We all want to be recognized and loved, right? So why don't we listen to the person first?
A big lesson I've learned from my leadership classes I've taken is that we need to forget ourselves and just listen. Forget your thoughts, forget your situation, and listen to them with real intent of understanding. When we forget ourselves we begin to place ourselves into their shoes, and that can make the biggest differences in both your life and theirs. When we forget ourselves we begin to see their side of things. We begin to understand a new side of life.
Another significant lesson I've learned is that when we listen to the friend they often will return curiosity, and will be more willing to listen to you. After I let them talk out their feelings most times I notice they have a genuine interest in my life. [This is not always the case, but I have found it true in my experiences.]
Now for step three, once you've listened to them ask questions. Let them talk about themselves a bit, and really try to pay attention, and if you're one to give advice then do just that. Ask a few questions, and really try to pay attention to their answers.
I know that through my experiences I've loved when my friends just listen to me, and when I'm done with my rant they ask questions! They ask questions about how they can help me, or why this event made me feel this way. And it truly made me feel special, it made me believe they truly did want to hear me, and they have a desire to understand me. I really do love people like this.
Through those three steps I've found that I've grown a lot closer to my friends by doing just this. It really does work if you let it.
But there's a difference between letting someone talk about their trials in their life and throwing a pity party for themselves. You don't need to allow someone to throw a pity party for themselves. Listen to them, but don't feed into it. A pity party is when someone just talks about how awful their life may be, and they don't try to do anything about it, to fix it at all. They may just want you to feel bad for them. Don't listen to that.
When someone is truly distraught they will talk about their issue, and they [hopefully] will accept advice and try to improve their life. Those are the talks that are healthy. Don't allow yourself to be dragged down by the pity party, you can listen to them, but don't feed into it.
My challenge to you is to really try to do this with your friends. Pick the top three relationships in your life right now, and use practice this with them. Because not only will you see a difference in them, but you'll also see a difference in yourself.
Love you guys! Thanks for reading! You guys are the best!
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